Living Together First Can Spoil Marriage, Study Finds

Living Together First Can Spoil Marriage, Study Finds - FOXNews.com

Let us first consider some of the statistics contained in this article:

The study questioned about 1000 couples between the ages of 18 and 34 who had been married for no more than ten years. Of these:

• 40% [Yes, only 40%!] did not live together (cohabit) prior to their marriage.
• 16% only lived together after they were engaged.
• 43% were cohabiting before engagement.

No word on the other 1%.

Percentages of these groups which had ever "suggested divorce":

• 10% among those who did not cohabit prior to marriage.
• 12% among those who only lived together after they were engaged.
• 19% among those who cohabited before engagement.

Back to more of those statistics in a moment. There are a few key Bible principles worth noting here.

• ALL sexual activity outside of the marriage relationship is sin. Period. The Bible speaks strongly about adultery, fornication, homosexuality/sodomy, incest, etc., referring to them in strong terms and promising inescapable judgment (see, for examples, Ex. 20:14; Heb. 13:4; Prov. 6:26-29, 32-33; Rom. 1:24-32; 1 Cor. 6:9-11; Matt. 15:19-20; and many others)
• ALL lust outside the marriage relationship is sin. Period. I believe this is a sub-part of the 10th Commandment (Ex. 20:17, Thou shalt not covet...thy neighbor's wife...; see also Rom. 7:7), but there are plenty of other affirmations that lust is sin in such passages as Matt. 5:27-28; Rom. 1:27 (a reference to homosexual lust); James 1:15; 1 John 2:16-17; and many others.
• Marriage is good! In addition to the blessings of companionship and family that it brings, it is what God designed for procreation and the satisfaction of physical desires. God provided Adam with Eve at the very beginning (Gen. 2:18-24), and it has been part of His plan ever since.

It should not surprise us that when two people violate God's commands and embark upon their own path of desire, that they are less likely to have a successful marriage.

I also wanted to make note of the three most common reasons given by cohabiting couples for choosing to cohabit, beginning with the one most given:

• Spending more time together
• Made sense financially
• Wanted to "test out the relationship" before marriage

The first reason is, in a word, weak. My wife and I spent lots of time together before marriage without moving in with each other; it is simply a matter of time priorities. Furthermore, with e-mail, cell phones, and other technologies (that I wish we had about seventeen years ago), that special someone is rarely more than a moment away.

The second reason promotes pragmatism over principle. Not good.

The third reason is particularly weak, and sad. Marriage is a commitment, a vow—the most sacred vow a man and a woman can ever make. It is not to be entered into lightly. To commence immorality on the pretense of "testing it out" is a grand mistake. And really, I think that is what is really meant by "testing it out." If you want to know your beloved's feelings on what to do with the towels once they have been used, or whether the toilet paper should go over the top, or how often the dishes should be done, or what time they go to bed, just ask them. Or observe them, as the case might be.

Marriage is sacred, and must be treated as such.

Kudos to Tommy B. for bringing this article to my attention.

Adultery and Forgiveness

It was with sadness that I learned about Gov. Sanford's admission of immorality today. This has nothing to do with his politics. His sin—not to mention the now-public nature of that sin—has brought grief, tension, and shame to his marriage and family.

Gov. Sanford "apologized profusely" to his wife, sons, staff, and fellow South Carolinians today for what he had done and how he had hurt these people. He specifically asked for forgiveness.

I sincerely hope that the governor was sincere about that.


But how should a Christian react when he finds out that another believer has sinned in such a way?

The governor has apologized publicly for what has become a public sin. This is the first and most appropriate thing to do. If a fellow Christian has sinned in a way that has become public, it is appropriate to lovingly and prayerfully encourage him to confess that sin publicly and ask forgiveness of those whom he has sinned against.

If a Christian has sinned but will not apologize, and loving encouragement coupled with biblical admonition still does not have the needed effect, then the Christian must pray for that person. One who will not repent and apologize for sin is treading on dangerous spiritual ground, and the judgment of God will be in his future.

Unless a person is directly affected by the sin, there is little else he can do. If the person is the one (or one of a group) sinned against, then the admonitions of Matthew 18:15-17—so routinely ignored in our day and age—must be followed.

Once forgiveness and reconciliation have occurred, then we must encourage and edify the one who has sinned. There will be scars, of course—sin always bring scars, and some deeper than others. There will be consequences to every sin. Mark Sanford will have to live with the regrets of this experience, even if he achieves a full reconciliation with his family, to his dying day. His political future is probably going to be brief. For these reasons and many others, not the least of which being the biblical admonition to "edify one another" (I Thess. 5:11), he needs our prayers and encouragement to do what is right.


You can view the video of his press conference here. Notice in particular these opening lines from Governor Sanford:

"There are moral absolutes, and God's law indeed is there to protect you from yourself, and there are consequences if you breach that. This press conference is a consequence."

Record Numbers of Births, Births to Unwed Mothers

The headline reads, "More Babies Born in 2007 Than Any Other Year in U.S. History." The reported number was 4,317,119 births.

This is going to get some mileage in the press because it exceeds the previous record, set 50 years earlier, at the height of the "baby boom." It is not particularly impressive when one considers that fifty years ago, the number of women of childbearing age was approximately half of what it is now.

Consequently, the "rate" of birth is not even close to what it was back then.

The more important and troubling aspect of the story is this: About 1.7 million of those births were to unwed mothers. This means that, on average in 2007, there was a baby born to an unwed mother every 18 seconds...a child who will, statistically, likely grow up without the blessings of married, loving parents who demonstrate biblical marriage and morality.

And if you consider how many babies are aborted annually, you will see that only about half of the children conceived in the wombs of American women will make it out of the womb to be greeted by married parents.

Proverbs 14:34: "Righteousness exalteth a nation, but sin is a reproach to any people." We should be praying to God for His mercy upon our nation. Our reproach is deserved.

Today's Sign The Apocalypse is Upon Us

Oh, my....At The Villages retirement complex in Florida, the largest of its kind anywhere, it is reported by the New York Post and foxnews.com that (a) the female-to-male ratio is 10-to-1 in its population of 70,000, and (b) lechery and indecency is a major problem.

Behavior like the article describes (summarized below) would be condemned—and properly so—in the younger generation, but when you read that the elderly—the supposed wiser segment of the population—are behaving like alley cats, it has a nauseating effect. With the understanding that there are no doubt virtuous people among that population, here is what we learn about some of the others:

• There is a black market for Viagra.
• Both men and women are looking for opportunities. One woman was quoted, "A lot of the men down here are cheaper than heck," she says, "and a lot of the women are extremely brazen. Some girls will go into the parking lot with a man and come back a half-hour later like nothing happened!"
• Sexually transmitted diseases are a growing concern. Referring to one local gynecologist, "she treated more cases of herpes and human papillomavirus at The Villages than she did when she worked in Miami." Other STD's are also becoming more common.
• Local law enforcement "just tries to keep up."

The "Greatest Generation" will get a black eye from this.